What are the chains holding YOU back?

What are the chains that are holding you back from doing what you are meant to do or being who you are supposed to be? A good thing to do to solve a problem is to find out what the source of that problem is, in order to find the right solution to solve that issue.

What are the chains holding you back? Think about it and try to find a solution to break these chains and overcome the obstacles. It could be anything: fear, timidity, a bad experience, laziness, lack of motivation, feeling unloved, being hurt about what someone said/did to you, etc...

Take some time alone to do some soul-searching and try to think about any issues that you might have or anything that is blocking you and second, you need to recognize that you have these problems, because being in denial will not solve anything for you. Then, try to find the source of that problem: how did I become like this? What happened to me for me to think/act that way? And once you find that out, find a solution to solve that issue. If you need help finding a solution, ask someone around you that you trust, who you think can give you some valuable advices. Try to find someone who has been through the same situation and was able to overcome it, and ask them how they did it so it can give you some ideas on how you can do it to, because a solution might be good to someone and not to somebody else...

Start breaking your chains today and reach your Higher Self tomorrow!!!

Communication

One of the reasons why there are issues in any relationships is because we do not take the time to UNDERSTAND the other person and what he/she is feeling and why...we are too selfish with our own emotions...

Selfishness kills communication. The only thing we see is I, what I feel, what I want, what I see, what about ME, you hurt ME, you betrayed ME, I am hurt, I, I and I...But what about the other person? What about how she/he feels too? You will never know what caused the person to do or say what they said or did, if you do not take the time to understand why and what they feel too.

Sometimes we can act in a way that seems correct to us but doesn't please the other. And that person will have a bad reaction to our behavior, and the first thing we'll say if ''If you're not happy than step aside". But not everybody have the same character, the same attitude or the same views. So we cannot expect everybody to be exactly like us, think exactly like us and act exactly like us, otherwise we find them weird if they do not like some of our ways. It's not how it works.

For example, in a couple, it's not because you like to give affection to someone and that person does not give it back to you in the way you want it, that you should break up with this person or criticize them. Some people are very timid and reserved, and would love to be able to give affection as openly as others do but they can't, because something is blocking them. But if we stop being selfish and try to understand what's blocking the other person by COMMUNICATING with them, we can actually help this person unblock which is going to be beneficial for you and your mate as you will receive the affection you wanted, and the other will feel more comfortable giving it to you, and by unblocking what was blocking inside, it might unblock things in other aspects of his/her life like relationships with family, coworkers, friends and so on...

Another example is if someone is quiet and not a big talker. People tend to judge them as not being assertive enough, boring, etc...And those people are usually the ones who are always rejected, at school, work or any social activities. And there is a reason why these people are this way. They might have had been traumatized by a situation in their childhood such as abuse, rape, loss of a relative, witness of a crime, drama, etc...or maybe it's just their nature, maybe they'd love to be able to speak openly and affirm themselves but don't know how. They are struck by timidity and they don't know how to overcome it. But if you would take the time to actually communicate with them and understand what makes them being this way, we can help them overcome whatever block them in order for them to get out of their shells. Some people never had anyone to talk to, anyone to confide in, anyone to cry on, which resulted in them keeping everything inside and become reserved, detached and timid.

Someone else might have a fear of a certain animal, dogs for example. And because you're not scared of dogs, you think the person is crazy and make fun of them for that. What you might not know is that this person might have been traumatized by a dog who bit her and it caused that person to develop a fear for any types of dog that can exist on the planet. But you take the time to communicate with the person and understand where the fear comes from, you might be able to help this person overcome this fear and make a big difference in this person's life.

We tend to judge someone by what we see and not by what we know. But if we would only take a second to get to know the person and what happened in his/her life and childhood, in order for them to become the way they are, we might understand them better and be able to make them change and break their chains from the past that made them become negative in terms of acting, thinking, reacting and living. If we stop being selfish, thinking that our ways is the best ways, and start communicating with other people and try to understand their differences, any relationships will get better. It will save many relationships, marriages, friendships and so on...

Of course it might be hard to communicate with someone and make them open up. There are millions of people like this. We just have to find a way to make them feel at ease with us so that they can start being comfortable enough to open up about themselves and their life experiences. For some, it might be easy and for others, it might be a long process. I'm not asking you to do that for everybody, but if the person is important enough for you, I suggest that you take the time to do it because you never know what someone can bring in your life. I remember my mother would always tell me to be kind with everyone (as long as they respect me obviously) because you never know what that person can bring in your life. This person might be the one to give you their hand when everybody else will turn you down in a bad situation, that person might be the one to save your life in case of emergency...we never know.

The key to success in any relationships, is communication. Elders always say it. So break the chains of selfishness, and take the time to communicate with others to understand how they are and why. You'll see that it'll save many relationships in your lifetime.

Anger

When somebody does something bad to you, why let anger get the best of you? What it does is aggravate your soul more than anything, and anger leads to resentment, and all these negative feelings build up inside of you, which can later on affect your health and your energies, if it happens too often. 

If something occur that would usually infuriate you, try as best as you can to breathe and say "I reject this feeling!". I know it might be hard, but it's worth the try. I used to be irritated very easily by what people would say or do to me. After a while I realized that:

1- Some people are really just playing and do not mean what they say (I did that too so now I understand it)

2- Being angry won't change anything if the situation is irreversible and it will only affect my health, mostly if I'm always angry

3- I've become too positive to let anger get a hold of me for too long :)

Why get mad at something that already happened and that cannot be undone? After your anger dissipates, the situation will still remain the same. I understand that anger is an unavoidable feeling, and you can get carried away by anger easily, and it's ok, nobody is perfect and that's not what I'm asking you to become. But the second you start to scream and shout, try to close your mouth and breathe for a moment. And think to yourself that what you're feeling at the very moment will do nothing better than affect your health and surround you with negative energy, leading you to have negative thoughts towards the person who hurt you. And sometimes it might even make you do/say things that you will later on regret. And I don't think you wanna go there and feel guilty and beg for forgiveness that you will probably not receive in some cases, depending on the character the person you hurt back has. Instead of getting angry, just breathe and if you need to be by yourself for a moment, take that moment to relax. Take a shower, go breathe some air on the balcony, meditate, sing, write, whatever makes you relax, and when you're calmed down, go back to the person or call that person back and let them know firmly that you did not appreciate what they did or said to you and that they hurt you or irritated you. But be honest about how the person made you feel so that they understand clearly.

And beware of provocation!!!! Some people who I guess are not fully mature yet will probably want to provoke you by saying/doing things just for the fun of seeing you angry! You have to learn to detect that. Because we're all humans, we all have a brain that receives information and processes it. So when you tell someone that you don't appreciate when they say/do a certain thing to you, it might not be what they want to hear, but rest assured that their brain processed the information and that they are now fully aware that you do not appreciate this. So do not let them win you over by reacting angrily to what they say or do, instead, let them say/do it anyways, even if you've repeated many times that you do not like this, and sooner or later they will realize how ridiculous they are and stop acting stupid. And by you not reacting, it also shows maturity, which the person will take example on. If you get angry again, you let them win and they will never stop, as they will now know one of your weaknesses. So lead by showing the right example! It will most likely make them grow up!

Don't get me wrong, anger is not something that will never affect me. I do get VERY angry. It is extremely rare but it can happen. The thing is it depends on the gravity of the situation. I learned how NOT to let unnecessary matters affect me. If it can't be undone, I won't get angry, but I will let the person know that I didn't appreciate what they did to me. However....if it's something extremely bad, I WILL get angry, but before saying or doing anything I might regret, I take time to myself to get rid of my anger and calm myself down, and when I'm ready to talk in all decency, I address the issue to the person. And let me tell you that I am more positive ever since I changed that. :)

So break the chains of unnecessary anger that surrounds you with negative energy and start living better with a positive attitude by learning to control your anger and all the bad emotions/thinking that come with it!!!

Breaking Chains...

Ok...so this is new to me, blogging...writing is my #1 one passion, but I've never thought of publicly writing on a blog...I would fear that people would judge what I say, judge me and etc...but in the end, someone will always judge and someone will always criticize. And others will like and enjoy. You can't please everyone right? So I broke the chain of fear, and I created my blog.

There are so many things I want to write about. About all the chains from the past and present that keep you from becoming who you are supposed to be, that keep you from reaching your Higher Self, that keep you from accomplishing what you are here to accomplish, because of fear, fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, and so on...I want to address issues like self-esteem, confidence, communication, emotional healing, fear, negative vs positive thinking, and so on...just issues that need to be fixed in order for your spirit to dwell into positiveness, in terms of attitude, thinking, acting, reacting...in order for the bad chains of the past to break free and lead you on the path of truth, righteousness, positiveness, forgiveness, acceptance and light.

I am constantly doing some soul-searching, in order to figure out the ways I can become a better woman. Not only for myself but to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my community but mostly to God. All I want is to basically rid myself from all the negativity in my life and rejuvenate my soul, my spirit and my life in an everlasting positive atmosphere.